Now This Is Relationship Goals!

If I got paid every time I saw someone say “relationship goals” on social media, I could quit my job and focus on Cup of Consuella full time! How amazing would that be? No, but really, I kind of cringe when I see people say that for a number of reasons. The biggest reason is simple: there’s no way you should call something a goal simply because of the pretty picture that may be painted on the outside. People shouldn’t be “relationship goals” because they drive nice cars, because they go on lavish vacations, or because they had a (sponsored) 1.7 million dollar wedding *cough cough* The Wopsters.

I’m happy whenever people find love, but very seldom do I look at another couple’s relationship and wish it were mine. Now on the flip side, I do think Michelle and Barack epitomize Black excellence/ Black love and are one of very few relationships that I admire. Everything about them I absolutely adore. I also love Lebron and Savannah James. I don’t care what y’all say, they can do no wrong in my eyes. But do y’all want to know what couple has literally everything I could dream of in a marriage? Beth and Randall from NBC’s hit show, This Is Us. Now, I know what you’re thinking “Courtney, this is just a TV show relationship, it’s not real.” And this may be true, but with the constant negative depiction in the media, it’s refreshing to see such an amazing example of Black love on television.

Beth and Randall are everything. Randall is a successful Black man. Beth is a strong Black woman. And they have two beautiful Black daughters… with natural hair. Yes, I’m all the way here for their kinky curly tresses. Don’t judge me. Aside from the fact that Randall and Beth are financially secure and have afforded themselves a very comfortable life, the way they run their household is what’s most admirable to me. They eat breakfast and dinner together everyday as a family. They spend quality time in and out of their house with their girls. They instill morals and values in their family. They show their daughters what kind of qualities they should posses as a woman and what qualities to expect in a man.  I could go on and on about Beth and Randall, but here are my top 5 reasons why they are relationship goals!

1. They are not defined by gender roles and societal norms.

Beth and Randall both work 9-5’s, but I think it’s safe to assume that Randall is the breadwinner in the family. Does that mean that Beth is supposed to stay at home, clean the entire house, wash Randall’s dirty clothes, and cook 5 meals a day? Absolutely not. Of course I’m sure she prepares most of their meals and keeps the house in order, but we sometimes see Randall on camera preparing breakfast or dinner. We even see Randall doing his daughter’s hair often. They have a balance in their house that doesn’t make one parent feel obligated to do what a “man should do” or what a “woman should do”. They both support each other and do whatever needs to be done for their family. I thought it was so cute when Deja asked the girls which parent runs the house and they initially said, “well they both do.” A second later, they looked at each other and both said “mom” in unison. I know many moms that can relate lol. Beth and Randall seem to do a great job of acting in the traditional roles of husband and wife, while not letting those gender roles define their relationship. They’ve learned to maintain a healthy balance that works so well for their family. I’m here for it.

2. They never stop dating each other.

Beth and Randall keep it spicy! They still have date night, they still have sex, and after all these years, they are still attracted to each other. I can’t count how many times Randall compliments his wife and you can tell he means it. And the best part about it? Beth still blushes every single time. She still gets butterflies for her husband and it shows. Remember that scene when Randall was on the treadmill for 55 minutes of his hour and Beth was like “I know a better way you can work off those last 5 minutes.” I was like yasssss sis!! Finishhhh him!!! lol

3. They fight fair.

When you are upset, the last thing you are thinking about is saying the right thing. You’re not thinking about how to get your point across without hitting below the belt. You’re not thinking about how to argue effectively. Well, Beth and Randall are. They never get so angry with each other that they purposely hurt the other person’s feelings. They don’t say mean and ugly things that they will later regret and have to apologize for. Now don’t get me wrong, I’m not saying that their arguments are perfect. I’m saying their arguments are tactful. When Beth and Randall left Kevin’s show and started arguing about adopting, instead of saying something insulting, Beth just walked away. And of course, Randall went after her. All relationships will have disagreements, but the way you handle them is so important. Fighting fair is a must in any healthy relationship.

4. They never go to bed mad.

This kind of ties in to #3, but I had to mention this separately. I think it’s so important to settle any differences you may have for you to be well rested and ready for a new day. Sometimes disagreements can’t be settled right away. Sometimes you need a day to just think on your own without any dialogue with your partner. Sometimes you just don’t want to talk about it. And that’s okay. Even if Beth and Randall have not seen eye to all day, at least they know that once they get in bed, they will talk about it, they will squash it, and they will go to bed with peace of mind. Richard and I have this rule in our house, as well. We can be mad at each other all day, but at the end of the night, we are going to bed together. And we will not go to bed mad.

5. They have each other’s backs. I mean really have each other’s backs.

I think its pretty obvious that Beth and Randall don’t play any games about each other, and I love that. Randall is a bit more reserved and doesn’t like confrontation, but honey Beth don’t come to play! She will check anybody quick, fast, and in a hurry about her Randall. I can give many examples, but the one that sticks out in my head is when Randall’s father, William,  kind of popped up in the picture after all these years. As happy as she was that Randall found his birth father, she was still apprehensive about Randall potentially getting hurt. She made it very clear that she would not allow anyone, including his father, to come into their lives and cause any turmoil. Randall was so happy that he got to meet his father and they actually developed and amazing relationship. Beth and William even ended up growing a great bond in such a short period of time, which is another example of her love and support for her husband. Beth and Randall go out of their way to show each other constant support and reinforcement. And I think that’s a huge part of why their relationship is so strong.

Long story short, I love Beth and Randall. And I’m 100% positive that anybody who watches “This Is Us” loves them too. If you don’t watch the show, I hope this just gave you some motivation to watch. One episode, maybe two, and you’ll be hooked! So tell me, what do you love most about Randall & Beth? If not them, then who are your relationship goals? Leave a comment below.

Xoxo,

Consuella

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10 comments

  1. Great post! Relationships are INDEED hard work. Not so pretty as people make it out to be. And yes, you gotta keep dating! Keep the flame lit. Good stuff.

    1. I def do my best to keep the flame going in my relationship. Thanks for reading! 🙂
      Xo,
      Consuella

  2. I am here for it too !! I don’t faithfully watch but I love them and loved this post !!!! I don’t really idolize anyone and try not to idolize what anyone has. But my old pastors .. they are GOALS !!!!

    1. You have to start faithfully watching! lol. No but seriously, thank you for reading! 🙂
      Xo,
      Consuella

  3. Just started watching this show and I initially liked them! And I agree the whole “relationship goals” based on a facade is ridiculous! People see the glitz/glam and don’t see the work it takes to be in a healthy loving relationship. Great read!

    1. You say you “initially” liked them. Do you not like them anymore?? Just curious lol. Anyway thanks for reading, boo. I’m glad you enjoyed.
      Xo,
      Consuella

  4. So much to love about this post! My favorite…acting in the traditional roles of husband and wife, while not letting those gender roles define their relationship. Yes!!

  5. Great post! I saw the title and it made me ask myself, now what would I define as “relationship goals?” I think you definitely captured everything I was thinking in this post!

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